Magic in Minneapolis

by Christian Ashlar

(An entry in the JemCon 2022 FanFic contest)

A shrill alarm brought a certain white-haired Misfit out of bed. Pushing away the heavy covers, she glanced at the clock. Plenty of time for a quick shower. The majority of her time was spent putting together the proper outfit. Once she had it, she left her hotel room and went downstairs to meet the others.

"You're late."

"Our call time is at nine," Roxy said, getting defensive. "It's just now six-thirty."

Pizzazz shook her head. "I told you all last night to be ready at six. I'm not going to be upstaged by Little Miss Pink-Hair on our first day! You know she's going to be there bright and earlier than us, no matter what our call time is!"

The Misfits' leader led the others out of the Double Tree hotel and into a waiting car. The driver closed the door and walked around to the front. A rowdy group of people crossed in front, all of them dressed in bright, neon-colored costumes and hair.

"Who's that lot?" Jetta asked, bemused. "They were carrying on like a load of loons way into the wee hours, last night."

"They're here for the convention," Stormer answered with a smile. "Fun people. Some of them are even Misfits fans."

"Don’t tell me you talked to those losers," Pizzazz groaned.

"They were in the lobby, just hanging out and talking. I came down to get some extra towel and they recognized me. Like I said, they were fun people. I like hanging out with fun people."

Pizzazz got the insinuation but let it slide.

Roxy smirked. "Sometimes I wonder about the company you keep, Stormer."

"Sometimes, I do, too," Stormer said, choosing to follow the scenery outside her window.

The Minneapolis Convention Center grew smaller as the car drove away. Stormer thought about the group of people she spent the last evening with and how they were much nicer than the group she would be spending the morning with.

-

The car pulled into a parking spot marked, Reserved for Guests. A sultry breeze blew off the river as the Misfits got out of the car. Stormer shielded her eyes as she took in the magnificent steamboat docked nearby. The others did not share her sense of wonder.

"I hope this tub doesn't sink," Roxy remarked. "I don't want to have to swim the Mississippi river in leather pants."

Jetta laughed. "I'm sure you'd sink like a stone, no matter what rags you're wearing."

"Listen, Brit, unless you want to end up where Posh did in Spice World, I suggest you keep your trap shut! We might be in Podunk, Minneapolis but—"

"Shut up, you two!" Pizzazz shouted. "I'm warning you, today is not the day! A lot is riding on our making a good impression! Do you know how many strings Eric had to pull to get us this gig?"

"Whoever heard of a Victorian melodrama done on the river?" Roxy asked, rolling her eyes. "I'll bet it'll be the lamest thing we've ever done."

"I bet it'll be fun," Stormer said, still admiring the boat. "The Purple Palace is one of the finest showboats still on the circuit! The best of the best have performed here! Once we're associated with her, it'll be like being royalty, ourselves!"

"Best of the best, eh? Then, why are Jem and Riot on the ticket with us?"

Before anyone could answer, a booming voice caught their attention. "Ladies! Welcome! I was hoping I'd be the first to welcome you aboard!"

Coming down the showboat's gangplank, a large man with an even larger mustache held his arms open as he walked. He wore a black captain's jacket and a pair of white pants. Several rings glittered on each hand as he waved them. His heavy footfalls sounded like beats of muted thunder as he walked toward the group.

"Captain," Pizzazz said, trying to be polite. "Glad to see you, too."

"No need to be so formal. I'm Amos 'Showboat' Schwann, at your service!"

The Misfits' leader took hold of the man's hand and matched his grip. "You already know who we are, since you're the one who booked us."

"You could say I'm ahead of the game," he said, his drawl very strong. "You gals are pretty popular aboard the Palace! The crew's quarters are plastered with your pictures!"

"Oh, goody," Roxy mumbled.

Pizzazz shot her a withering look.

Captain Schwann led them onto the Purple Palace and into a spacious welcome area. Tasteful purple furnishings, tall plants, and beautiful artwork of the river and other showboats decorated the space. Other passengers acknowledged the musicians but few knew who they were. The ones who did came up and attempted introductions. Stormer welcomed them. Pizzazz tolerated them. Roxy and Jetta just played along.

"Thought we'd feed you gals before getting to rehearsals," the captain said, leading them into a larger dining area. "We put out a huge spread so be sure to sample a little bit of everything!"

They each got a plate and began filling it. Roxy went light on almost everything, not wanting to be too full to perform later. Jetta decided to try grits for the first time. Stormer got eggs and toast with a side of fruit. Pizzazz skipped the buffet, thinking she might be better off with just juice and water. She did go through the line with the others, thinking to undo the knot of nerves in her stomach.

"You'll all be guests at my table, of course," Captain Schwann said, his broad smile in place. He carried a plate filled with food. "By now, the others will have joined us!"

"Others?" Pizzazz asked, the coiled nerve-knot tightening.

"Yeah, you know, some of the other celebrity guests of the convention! I've invited a few of the actors to come out and see the boat."

The captain took the lead and the others fell in behind him. As they neared his table, Pizzazz slowed, almost causing Roxy to bump into her.

"What's the matter with you?" The platinum Misfit asked, trying to keep from dropping her plate. "You see a ghost or something?"

"It's her," Pizzazz said, indicating a woman already seated at the captain's table. "I didn't know she was going to be here."

"Who is she, anyway?" Roxy asked, giving the woman a once-over. "Should we know her?"

Stormer, having also stopped walking, answered. "She's Patsy Allbright, the actress who does Pizzazz's voice for our cartoon show."

Roxy snorted. "Big deal."

"You'll show some respect," Pizzazz snapped. "When it comes to voice talent, there ain't nobody better! You got me?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your hair in a twist."

"Wonder if Sally Newhart is here, too," Stormer said, looking around.

The captain noticed them lagging behind and waved them over. "Don't be shy, ladies! Come on, grab a seat and let's get some introductions going!"

Stormer waited until Pizzazz sat down, then slid into the seat next to her. She thought to lend some support in a silent way. The captain began introducing people to his left. Pizzazz nodded to each person, trying to remember their name. When the captain got to Patsy, though, all other names disappeared from her mind. She felt the inside of her mouth dry up. She thought, for a moment, she might choke.

"Can't believe I'm meeting the legend," Patsy said with a broad smile. "Pizzazz, herself!"

"L-Legend? Me?"

"Of course! I'm a huge fan! It's an honor to be bringing you to life!"

"I, uh…" Pizzazz stammered.

Under her breath, Stormer prompted, "Thank you."

"Thank you, Ms. Allbright. I am a giant fan of yours, too."

"Nice save," Stormer said, also under her breath.

Pizzazz and Patsy spent the remainder of the meal engaged in conversation. Stormer and Jetta engaged with other guests and the captain. As she ate, Roxy noticed the distinct change in Pizzazz's demeanor. The hard, brash exterior faded and she became receptive and almost warm. The loud, tough Misfit dissolved more and more the longer she sat and engaged with the voice actor. Roxy finished the last of her breakfast a few minutes before the others but she sat and listened as Patsy gave Pizzazz performance pointers for the Purple Palace's production. She knew, from the way Pizzazz responded, she was taking it all in and filing it away.

Way to go, Roxy thought to herself. Way to freakin' go.

-

After breakfast, Captain Schwann led the Misfits on a brief tour of the three-story showboat. Along the way, he filled them in on the history of his boat and of the tradition of showboats, in general. All the while, he twirled and pulled on his giant mustache. When they reached one of the salons on the second floor, he stopped in front of a large painting of William Chapman's showboat, the Floating Theater.

"This Chapman chap, he was a Brit," Jetta noted. "An actor, too."

"That, he was, miss!" The captain's grin stretched his great mustache. "He lived on the boat and performed in the plays, too. Admission, back then, cost fifty cents! Imagine today's money in yesterday's world! For what you pay for a coffee, you could see a show a night for a week!"

"What will the crowd be like for the night of the show?" Pizzazz asked.

"Mid-size, since we're doing more than the one performance. We want everyone to be comfortable and enjoy themselves."

They walked along a corridor, up to the top of the boat. They saw the large stacks and the huge paddlewheel. While Stormer was the most impressed by the tour, Roxy and Pizzazz lingered the longest at the railing, both looking out over the river. Along the banks, water crashed and foamed. Small birds and other animals moved about.

"It's not like living in the city, is it?" Roxy asked, taking it all in.

"Nothing's like living in the city," Pizzazz remarked. "I miss it and all, but this is nice, too."

"You nervous about the performance?"

In a rare moment of vulnerability, the Misfits' leader nodded. "I just don't want to mess up. After what happened in the Beauty and the Beast show, I gotta do better. I can't be laughed off the stage again. I also can't let Jem and Riot upstage me."

"You still haven't told us anything about your part – or about this mysterious costar!"

"You'll all see everything opening night. I don't wanna jinx anything."

Roxy smirked. "We know Riot's got the lead or he wouldn't be doing it." She nudged her friend. "He's the real reason you agreed to do this Victorian presentation, isn't he?"

"No," Pizzazz said, surprising her band mate. "I wanted to do it for me. I wanted something I could call mine, something I could really be proud of."

The captain appeared before Roxy could respond.

"I'll be taking you back down to the main deck. You'll be wanting to meet with Mr. Riot and his bunch, I'm sure. Not long, now, and you'll be starting rehearsals! You excited, Ms. Pizzazz?"

"I am, actually. Lead on, captain!"

The Misfits' leader followed the man back to the stairwell. Jetta fell into step behind them but Roxy and Stormer stayed behind for a moment.

"What's gotten into you, Stormer? You're more mopey than usual."

"Just thinking about days gone by and a life never lived. Anytime I'm near the water, I start thinking back to the island and…"

"Please, don't tell me you're pining over Angus B. again! That was a lifetime ago, Stormer!"

"He was nice to me, nicer than some people are to me, now."

"Well, it's time to move on!"

Wiping her eyes, Stormer turned her body toward the wind. "You might be right, in more ways than one. If Pizzazz does well in her performance, she might have a new path to the stardom she craves. It might be time to think about where the Misfits stand if she does."

"She'll never quit the band! She needs us!" Roxy took Stormer by the arm. "She learned that a long time ago after that mess with the Stingers! Misfits forever!"

Down in the hallways, the two Misfits heard the last of what Captain Schwann said to the others. "…which is why we have the standing we do in the showboat community! It's a feather in our performing cap, if you will."

"You have an accomplished stage," Stormer agreed. "Some of the greats have walked the boards of the Purple Palace. I've read a lot of the reviews."

"Pretty soon, we can add three of the most successful pop bands in the world to our list!" The captain said, swinging his fist in the air. "We're so darned proud!"

As they walked, Roxy noticed more of Pizzazz's ever-changing behavior. They went down a long hallway and the captain spat more and more facts about the boat. The platinum-haired Misfit just watched the way Pizzazz seemed to zone out more and more, like she was getting lost in her own head.

They reached an area with several padded benches, all bolted to the floor. Jetta went to take a seat while Stormer and Pizzazz said goodbye to the captain. With a final twirl of his thick mustache, the man took his leave. Roxy was going to take a seat when the doors at the other end of the opposite hallway opened.

"Wonderful," she grumbled. "The Unholy Trinity."

First through the door, Riot strode toward them. Minx on his right, Rapture on his left, the three took up the entire space, driving the passengers to one side as they passed.

"Three very good reasons I'm glad we're not in the main cast," Jetta remarked. "With his ego, I'm surprised they could find a co-star for Riot."

Stormer whispered to Pizzazz, "Who did they find to compliment the self-professed King of Pop music, anyway?"

"Pizzazz, are you ready?" Riot asked before she could answer.

"More than ready! Let's go!"

"Good, Ms. Burnfield is anxious to meet you."

"Ellie Burnfield?" Stormer asked. "Pizzazz's singing voice for our cartoon?"

"The very one," Riot confirmed. "Can you think of anyone better to be Pizzazz's voice coach for this production?"

"I can't wait to meet her," Stormer said, excited.

"I'm afraid it's going to have to wait until after rehearsal. It's going to be a closed set."

Jetta fumed. "Wait a bloody minute! We're part of the whole lot, too! You can't expect us just to sit around and wait! What are we supposed to do during that time? Serve drinks?!"

"I'll have a gin and soda," Rapture said, flashing a Cheshire grin.

Riot held up a hand, stopping any ensuing argument. "I've arranged a special meet-and-greet with a close, personal friend of mine. He's waiting for you in the main ballroom."

Minx laughed. "Hurry along, dear. You don't want to keep His Highness waiting."

The Brit blanched. "Is this…real royalty?"

"What's the matter, Jetta?" Rapture said, her eyes narrowed, her smile still wide. "I thought you were close, personal friends of the Royals."

"Please be on your best behavior," Riot interjected. "I've asked for this audience as a personal favor. If you embarrass me, it won't go well for you."

Riot ushered Pizzazz away from the others. Minx tossed her hair as she followed. Rapture gave the others a theatrical little wave, then followed her band mates.

"The nerve of those—"

Roxy gave Jetta a slight shove, shutting her up. "Give it a rest, already! You've done way worse to other people than they've just done to us!" She thought about things a minute. "Something weird is going on, here and I want to know what it is!"

"What do you mean?" Stormer asked.

"Have you been paying attention to the way Pizzazz has been acting? Did you see the trapped look on her face when Riot asked if she was ready? I'm beginning to think the Stingers have something on her to get her to do all this. On top of all that, what are the odds that both Patsy and Ellie would be here for this rehearsal? Something's going on!"

"You ask me, I think she's still warped in the head over Mr. Royal Pain!"

"It's more than just an infatuation with Riot," Roxy insisted. "She hasn't told us any of the details about this performance and our roles are so small we might as well not even be in it! Something is going on and I think we should find out what it is!"

Hoping to head off a misadventure, Stormer spoke up. "If a royal is really waiting to meet us, shouldn't we go there? I'm sure it's more than a little rude to keep royalty waiting. Right, Jetta?"

The Brit fumed.

-

On opening night, the Purple Palace transformed into a regal delight. Lights along the outside of the boat reflected purple in the water as the boat moved along the Mississippi. The showboat seemed to glide along a river of twinkling stars. Soft music from the on-deck band entertained the guests, who milled about on the boat's different levels, talking and taking in the balmy night air. For almost everyone on board, the magic of the evening was infectious.

"Those…creeps!"

In the lighted mirror, Stormer watched Roxy pace and fume. "I know you're upset, but you have to start getting ready."

"For what?! To sit in the audience and look pretty?! The nerve of Riot, getting his guest to break the news to us that we were out of the show! The nerve!"

"Maybe he thought we'd take it better if it came from a cast member."

"Don't be naïve, Stormer! Riot knew what he was doing! He knew if he had the guy tell us we were out, we wouldn't go off on him, considering who he was and all!"

Stormer brushed out her voluminous curls, trying to stay positive. "Maybe, but it was still a nice surprise to meet the legendary—"

"Don't even say his name! I don't even want to think about it!"

Jetta pinned her own mass of hair to one side. "I don't know why you've still got your knickers in a bunch! You said it, yourself, our parts were so small, we might as well have not even been in the thing at all."

"Yeah," Stormer said, pinning a big purple flower in her hair. "This way, we can watch the whole performance from our own private box!"

Roxy stopped pacing but still felt hot with anger. Across from her station in the VIP room, a glittering white dress hung on the back of a door. Its surface, covered with thousands of Swarovski crystals, fascinated her. The dress looked almost too fine to touch, much less put on her body.

"It's not going to wear itself, luv." Jetta said, eyeing her in the mirror.

"I still can't believe he gave these to us," Roxy said, mesmerized by the dress.

Jetta stood and did a spin her black version. "They are pretty posh, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Stormer said, also standing. The crystals of her blue sheath dress caught all the light. "I can't believe he's such a nice guy. The tabloids don't know him, at all!"

Coming out of her dress-induced trance, Roxy slipped the dress off its hanger. Without her robe, she was able to step into the dress and pull it up. Thin shoulder straps held the weight of the garment but did not dig into her skin. In the mirror, she found herself transfixed by the cut and sparkle of the dress.

"Do you think Pizzazz knows?" Stormer asked, getting her shoes. "Who her big co-star is, I mean. Do you think anyone, besides Riot, knows? I mean, we didn't even know."

Unable to look away from the mirror, Roxy nodded. "I'm sure she's pieced it together, by now. I'm just baffled why we didn't! I mean, we're in Minneapolis – on the Purple Palace! How could we have been so blind?"

"Well, he's always been secretive about the projects he works on," Jetta said, putting on her earrings. "It would stand to reason why he'd want to do the same for this performance. Imagine, if people knew he was going to be here, why they'd mob the place!"

Stormer went to the door. "How about a truce for tonight, you two? Let's just be happy for Pizzazz, okay?"

Nodding, Jetta regarded Roxy in the mirror. "For the night, Yank?"

"Yeah, for the night, Brit."

Smiling, Stormer opened the door. "Just in case, though, I'm sitting between you."

In the auditorium, ushers escorted the Misfits to their box. As she said she would, Stormer sat between the others. On the ground floor, other patrons took their seats as the orchestra began the pre-show music.

"Anyone know what this show is even about?" Jetta asked, fanning herself with the program. "All we've heard from Pizzazz is a lot of scales and a few lyrics about travel and dark rendezvous by the moonlight."

"Something to do with a prince," Roxy added. "Which, I'm guessing, is Riot."

Stormer tried to keep her annoyance to herself. "We all went to the same rehearsals. The show is about two women drawn to the same mysterious stranger who appears in their town. I can't believe neither of you paid any attention to the script."

The house lights dimmed and the orchestra's music faded.

"It's starting," Stormer said, excited. "Quiet, everyone."

Light and airy music built to a gentle climax as the red velvet stage curtain parted. A simple country meadow, dotted with flowers and several cut-out trees in front made up the backdrop. A house in the distance and a few bushes were the only set pieces.

From the back of the stage, a figure emerged, then walked toward the audience. Music shifted to a slower, almost mournful tune. Coming forward, the figure held out her arms. The audience chuckled when the figure stepped into a spotlight. Laughter built. The actress wore tailored overalls, a blue checked shirt, and exaggerated straw hat with an enormous flower tucked into its brim.

"Oh," Jetta began.

"My," Stormer added.

"Goodness," Roxy finished. "Is that…Pizzazz?!"

Laughter in the auditorium died away as the Misfits' leader began to sing. The first of several perfect notes emerged in perfect time with the stringed music. The song she sang told the story of a young girl growing up along the banks of the Mississippi river and dreaming of a better life far away from her home. The clarity of Pizzazz's voice surprised everyone in the theater, including her band mates. The building of the song brought a respectful, almost stunned silence to the whole room.

Thunderous applause erupted at the song's end.

"Where did that come from?" Roxy asked, otherwise speechless.

Stormer was beaming as she clapped. "It's always been there! She's just never had a reason to use it, considering the type of music we do."

Pizzazz removed the straw hat, beginning the second song. Lights in the background changed and two other figures came into view. One, dressed in a bright checked shirt and carrying an axe, entered from the right. Wearing a plain white dress and carrying a laundry basket, the second came from the left. They met at center stage and began the chorus as they walked toward Pizzazz.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing," Roxy whispered. "This is too much!"

"It's Jem," Stormer said, smiling. "In the background."

Jetta could not contain her glee. "Not just any background, luv – Pizzazz's background!"

As the scene progressed, Pizzazz's spotlight faded. Jem began a transitional song and a group of performers, dressed as field mice, joined her. The light-hearted number gave the audience a chance to laugh after the opening ballad. Its follow-up was the song of the love-smitten axe-wielder, one Riot delivered with his typical power and style. At its conclusion, Pizzazz came onstage again, this time in a light yellow dress with a fitted bodice and full skirt. Her hair, pulled into a bun, was decorated with daffodils.

Stormer whispered, "She looks—"

"Ridiculous," Jetta finished.

"Beautiful," Roxy said, not able to take her eyes off Pizzazz. "Really, really…beautiful."

Pizzazz's song, about how her character left her home and journeyed to Minneapolis, proved just as powerful as her opening. Its message, one of dedication to a dream, touched many of the audience members. Singing about a wish bigger than herself, the brash and bawdy Misfit told the story of her secret self to an adoring public. In turn, they carried her to such great heights, she no longer saw the stage. She only saw their accepting smiles and appreciative tears. She sang even louder on the second verse.

"That's when I met…my Prince."

Soft purple lights appeared all around the stage. A collective gasp went through the audience as the Prince in question appeared on stage and took Pizzazz's hand. The orchestra began a melodic tune full of stings and a strong flute. The uncommon couple of a pop-music Misfit and Minneapolis royalty began a complicated waltz.

"Did anyone know this was going to happen?"

Stormer shook her head at Roxy's question, but said nothing. She was transfixed by the perfection she was witnessing on the stage.

Midway through the dance, several stagehands, dressed in black, tore away the simple yellow dress Pizzazz wore. The reveal of a dazzling green dress, covered in thousands of glittering crystals, prompted gasps and applause from the audience.

In their box, the Misfits found themselves struck silent.

The production concluded with Pizzazz, still in her green gown, leading the entire cast in one final number. To one side, Jem provided backup vocals. To the other, Riot did the same for the Prince. Mice danced upstage under blue and purple lights. The show ended with approving applause and shouts of enthusiastic joy.

"She got what she always wanted," Stormer said, wiping her eyes. "Pizzazz is a hit – and she did it all on her own."

"Without us," Jetta sniped, refusing to join the others in applauding.

"Congratulations," Roxy said, clapping twice as hard to make up for Jetta. "How does it feel?"

Leaning over, Stormer touched Roxy's arm. "What do you think about coming to Minneapolis now? Seeing how happy Pizzazz is, do you think it's been worth it?"

"Without sounding like one of the Holo-jerks' songs, I think this whole experience has been magical! Even though we're going to have to hear about her triumph for the next year, I'm glad we came. I'm glad we experienced our own little bit of magic in Minneapolis."

- End -