A Date for Pizzazz

by Jacques Gagné

(An entry in the JemCon 2022 FanFic contest)

Summary: Pizzazz’s jealousy about Riot’s attraction to Jem is about to reach its peak when Riot invites Jem on a Mississippi riverboat after a recording session in a Minneapolis studio. During an argument with Jem, Jem advises her to stay herself with Riot in order to seduce him, instead of acting mushy. When the riverboat’s owner, Mr. Moustache, has a problem with the presentation of a Victorian melodrama during the cruise, Jem seizes the occasion to make Pizzazz shine in front of Riot.

It is early September in Minneapolis. Summer is still at its best and the people is enjoying the great outdoors. Some entertaining music is in the air around a recording studio downtown. Jem and the Holograms are ending recording a song for a gala honoring Prince, the great star from Minneapolis, that will be held the day after. The song will be included on the official soundtrack of the gala. Kimber says: “Wow! We’ve done it! A song for Prince, who was born here in Minneapolis! I just love his music! Do you think he recorded one of his marvelous songs in this studio?” Jem answers: “I don’t know, Kimber, but what I know for sure is that we have the rest of the day to us.”

Packing their instruments, they are about to leave the recording booth, when Shana looks at the window beside the entrance and says: “Misfits alert, girls!” She sees them arriving, followed by Riot and the other Stingers. Riot, delighted to meet Jem, greets her: “Hello, my lovely! Preparing for tomorrow’s gala?” Pizzazz, just behind him, is looking at the scene, grinding her teeth of jealousy. Riot rushes the Misfits into the studio while giving his instructions: “OK girls, you have a song to record for tomorrow’s gala soundtrack on behalf of Stingers Sound, so get on it!” And then he’s promptly leaving. Pizzazz stops him at the door and asks: “You won’t stay to supervise the recording? You leave us just like that?” “I’m busy, leave me!” replied Riot. Minx and Rapture look at each other. “We recorded our song yesterday,” says Minx, “so there is no meaning spending time with those losers. Let’s go somewhere else.” “I agree completely!” answers Rapture.

Riot joins Jem and he asks her if she is available for the rest of the day. For him, it was more a rhetorical question. Of course, she would be available for him. He tells her that he knows well Minneapolis, because he worked there for a while, as he says, and he wants to bring her into a big city tour. He insists so much that Jem finally accepts and she sends the Holograms away: “Take the rest of the day off. I’ll manage to join you later.” Pizzazz, who notices them walking out together, leaves the studio as well to follow them. Her bandmates ask her what she’s doing, because they have a song to record. “Do some vocalization, I’m busy!” she answers, before closing the studio door.

After visiting a couple of clubs all around the city, Riot and Jem finally reach the bank of the Mississippi River. A beautiful and stylish showboat named The Missy is docked, ready to launch for an evening cruise over the river. Riot invites Jem on board. While crossing the bridge to the boat, Jem reminds him: “You realize we’ve been through something like this before,” referring to their cruise ship adventure that let them stranded on a tropical island. “Don’t worry, my love”, replied Riot, “I assure you that this boat won’t shipwreck on any tropical island!” After finding seats at a table near the stage, Riot went away to get drinks. “Don’t get too lonely, my love. I’ll be back very soon!” While he was away, Pizzazz, who were following them all the way from a distance, decides to confront Jem.

A long argument starts between Jem and Pizzazz about Riot.

“Why do you let Riot be madly in love with you? You know he’s mine!” argues Pizzazz.

“Although he’s charming and courteous with me, Riot doesn’t attract me anymore. But sometimes it’s hard to refuse him when he insists,” replies Jem.

“Yeah, right, you’re all over him since you met him.”

“All I did when I first met him was to establish contact and try to negotiate a contract with his band on behalf of Jerrica, hoping the Stingers would sign with Starlight Music. But he asked too much in return. I admit his charm seduced me for a while, and I thought I could convince him to change his mind, but it was no use. So I put him back at his place, but I stay courteous when we meet. You can seduce him as much as you want.”

“Oh yeah? You know that no matter what I do around him, he simply dumps me as soon as he sees you or even as he just thinks about you. Even if you refuse him, so you say by the way, he seems more and more attracted to you. Don’t you forget that he almost kidnapped you? And, besides, why would you let him? You think you’re still in love with Rio, but he’s Jerrica’s boyfriend, remember? You have nothing else!”

“That’s it!” interrupts Jem.

“What?” replies Pizzazz, surprised.

“Riot is regularly assaulted by hordes of lovesick groupies and he totally ignores them. But his behavior changes completely when someone tries to resist him.”

“Are you implying that I’m just a lovesick groupie?”

“No, but if you stop falling to his feet each time he asks you something, maybe he would start noticing you as you are.”

“Get real, Jem, as if my natural charm wasn’t enough.”

“Well, apparently yes!”

“Is it war you want?”

“No, of course! If I know someone fierce and determined to get what she wants, it’s definitely you, Pizzazz! Be yourself, especially while with Riot, and he will end up noticing you and even appreciate you.”

“I don’t take advice from the likes of you! If you want my well-being so much then stay out of my way!”

“I’ll do my best, Pizzazz, trust me!”

Jem and Pizzazz are still arguing while suddenly they’re disturbed by a man shouting at the phone. “This is not possible! You can’t quit my show tonight, I have lots of reservations from people who want to be entertained this evening on my boat… What? … You had a better offer elsewhere… Then go away! I’ll manage without you. You’ll come crawling back to me once your new promoter won’t honor his promises!”

After hanging up, very upset, he notices all the people looking at him and he turns over to apologize for his previous behavior. Then among them he recognizes Jem and Pizzazz. “Hey! You’re Jem and Pizzazz, some of the famous rock stars that will perform on tomorrow night’s gala for Prince, aren’t you! I’m so pleased to meet you! And I’m delighted that you chose to come to my humble floating palace tonight! Let me introduce myself: I’m Willy Mason, the proud owner and captain of the Missy, it’s short for Mississippi Queen, this marvelous showboat you’re on board. But call me Mr. Moustache! It’s my nickname, you can see why!” Mr. Mason was the kind of entertainer who organizes incredible artistic performances for the enjoyment of his cruising customers. And he bears an impressive mustache that he curls from time to time with his fingers. “I’m also in charge of the entertainment. I’m sorry for the hassle. I have some setbacks about the show for tonight. I just learned that the actors for my show aren’t available for tonight’s performance.”

As he explains to them his predicament, an idea pops in his head. “I don’t want to disturb your plans for tonight, but if you can be so kind as to accept to play in tonight’s Victorian melodrama, you could save my life! I mean, my ‘soirée’, of course! It will be a great show and the audience will be really impressed!” he ends with great enthusiasm.

Jem answers: “Let me discuss it with Pizzazz.” Then she turns to her speaking softly: “This could be a great opportunity to shine before Riot, Pizzazz.”

- “Are you insane, Jem! I will never stoop to play in a lame melodrama on a ridiculous showboat. Nothing will make me do a stupid thing like that. Nothing!”

At this moment, Riot arrives with the drinks: “Am I interrupting something?” Then noticing Pizzazz hanging with Jem and Mr. Mason, he tells her, upset: “What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to record a song back at the studio?”

“Yeah, yeah, but we finished early. And in just one take, I might add!” boasts Pizzazz hiding her secret little lie.

“Only one take! I’m impressed,” with a bit of sarcasm in his tone… “Usually it’s 10 or 12 takes or even more with you to get things the proper way. I’m eager to listen to it, if it is OK with you!”

Even if she feels his reaction was sarcastic, Pizzazz detects that Riot, for a rare occasion, seems to be interested in her. She answers: “Well… Yes, my Riot!” with a soft mellow voice. She hasn’t finished saying these words that Riot’s face changes and he turns rapidly back to Jem, with a last word to Pizzazz: "Now, leave us. Surely you have something else to do!” This last remark puts Pizzazz back to square one with Riot. She feels so mad that she could pull off his head, but she realizes, reluctantly, that Jem seemed to be right about him.

Then, Mr. Mason recognized Riot. “You are here too, Mr. … Eh! … Stingers!” He was not sure of Riot’s name, so he called him that way. “That’s perfect! You could complete my love triangle!” “Your what?” asked Riot, surprised. “Sorry, I will explain. I’m Willy Mason, Mr. Moustache for my friends, owner to this showboat and organizer of the entertainment. I need someone to play in tonight’s Victorian melodrama on this stage. And you, Miss Jem and Miss Pizzazz would make a perfect love triangle for this performance!” “Sorry!” answers Riot, “By the way, the name’s Riot. Why would I compromise myself into this gig? I don’t involve myself into this unplanned kind of performance. Nothing can change my mind!”

Jem tries to salvage her little plot: “You’re right, Riot, this is kind of unplanned, but it’s so interesting as well. Mr. Mason? Sorry,” she corrected herself, “Mr. Moustache? You know, I finally decide to accept your offer.” Then turning to Riot, she says: “Riot, it would be so fun to do this play together, how about you?” As she expects, Riot says: “Well, if Jem asks me so nicely to participate, who am I to refuse it?” And, as if on cue, Pizzazz says: “You wouldn’t have a love triangle if I’m not here! Count me in!” “Perfect!” says Mr. Mason. “Perfect indeed!” Jem says to herself.

“I’m so thrilled!” says Mr. Mason. “The audience will be surprised and impressed once they recognize you as the performers.” Mr. Mason gives Jem, Riot and Pizzazz their texts to learn their role in the melodrama. He distributes the roles: “Riot, you will be Romeo, Jem, you will be Juliet and Pizzazz, you will be… Hum… Let’s say Phyllis!” “Hey, don’t call me that!” replied Pizzazz who didn’t want to be called by her real name. “Just play along,” reassured Jem, “it’s only for tonight. Remember that you will be on stage with Riot.” Mr. Mason continues: “Romeo and Phyllis will play a married couple, but Romeo will also be secretly flirting with Juliet. Of course, this secret liaison will be out soon enough. Phyllis must then conquer back her man and get rid of her rival. I will leave you now, so you get a chance to rehearse a little before showtime. I must set up the stage and costumes for tonight.” Jem and Riot are doing fine learning their lines, but Pizzazz seems to have a hard time memorizing them, being distracted by Riot rehearsing with Jem.

Later that night, with all passengers on board for the tour, the Missy leaves the wharf and sets on a cruise on the Mississippi. As the night approaches, the audience gathers in front of the boat’s stage to attend to the show.

Jem, as Juliet, and Riot, as Romeo, start the play together, sitting on a couch, apparently in a Victorian salon. As the curtain opens, the audience is surprised to recognize Jem and Riot as the actors in this play and they give them a good round of applause. So Romeo and Juliet are flirting with each other. Then Juliet stops Romeo and asks:

Oh Romeo, you’re a married man! What will your wife say if she finds out about our liaison?

Don’t worry Juliet, she doesn’t have a clue. I told her that I went to meet my friends from the hunt club.

Then, someone knocks at the door. It’s Phyllis, Romeo’s wife. Romeo and Juliet both are startled and they jump back and forth, trying to find a way to hide Juliet until Romeo decides to hide her in a closet nearby. The audience laughs when Romeo pushes Jem inside and closes the closet just as Phyllis enters and says:

Hi Romeo, my husband. What are you doing here?

The audience also recognizes Pizzazz and applauds her as she enters.

“You followed me, Phyllis? I… I… I… am preparing my meeting with my friends at the hunt club… you know,” hesitates Romeo.

Phyllis finds Juliet’s handbag on the couch and waving it in front on Romeo says:

Do you really need a woman’s handbag to prepare your meeting?

Yes, I… I… do! I store inside all sorts of stuff for my activities. You know how much stuff you can put inside a woman’s handbag?

Hearing someone sneezing, Phyllis comes to the closet and opens the door, revealing Juliet. “I suppose you also need the woman who owns the handbag to prepare your meeting?” The audience is laughing out loud. Romeo fakes to be surprised: “What is this woman doing here? I don’t know her!” Juliet says: “Romeo, how could you forget me?”

Pizzazz starts her great reply, but she realizes that she forgot most of her lines and she decides to improvise. “You know Romeo, when I looked at you first, I fell madly in love with you, like all your lovesick groupies. Then, when we started working together, I started to appreciate the person you really are, and I found that we saw things the same way. Then I really wanted to attract your attention to me, but there was that … woman,” pointing at Juliet, but meaning Jem. “And then you started losing all your good sense and decided to conquer her, even to worship her, just because she resisted to your charms. And you’re now totally ignoring me, ignoring my pain, ignoring my jealousy! How dare you do that!” The audience was stunned by this declaration. We could hear some “Ooooh!” and some “Aaaah!”.

Riot himself is also stunned by Pizzazz performance, but he quickly gets back to his senses and he continues with his text.

- I always have you at my side, dear Phyllis, and I love you. But in fact, I admit, I seek adventure, romance, something you can’t give me enough!

Give me a break, Riot… I mean Romeo. She’s only interested in getting someone else’s boyfriend. She’ll dump you as soon as she finds another one to prey on. Please, Romeo, be smart, leave her and return to me instead.

We could hear a big tender “Aaaaw!” from the audience. Juliet interrupts: "May I…?” Phyllis interrupts, “Shut up, you!” Juliet insists: “May I get back my handbag and leave?” “Oh! Sure! Here it is!” she throws it at her, “And be gone!” The audience has a final laugh and applauds. “Well, Phyllis,” says Romeo, “I learned my lesson and from now on there will be only one woman in my life: you!” Another “Aaaaw!” comes from the audience before the curtain goes down ending the play with a standing ovation. Mr. Mustache is thrilled and congratulates the trio for their outstanding performance.

From the stage, Jem notices the Holograms who also boarded the boat earlier and came to see the performance. Kimber joins her and says: “So there you were all that time. I didn’t think you would take another boat adventure with Riot after what happened last time.” “Well, I had a little project I wanted to realize,” answers Jem. “What project?” replied Kimber. “I’ll fill you in later,” ended Jem.

After the salute at the end of the play, Riot crosses Pizzazz backstage and he says: “I was very impressed by your performance, Pizzazz. I didn’t know you had it in you. But frankly, do you really have those sentiments towards me?” Pizzazz, very pleased by the attention given by Riot to her, is about to answer him with her naïve mellow voice. But she also sees Jem close by behind Riot, nodding at her. Pizzazz gets a grip on herself and finally answers Riot with a more natural and firm tone of voice, as she usually speaks. “Well, I won several prizes for my acting, you know,” she boasts. “Wow! I see!” replies Riot, with a little skepticism.

Then, he is turning his head around looking for Jem, asking himself loudly where she is: “I promised her we would end the night in the city together.” Pizzazz gets disappointed again. But Jem, seeing this, reacts fast and reaches for Riot, telling him that she promised the Holograms to join them in a shopping spree downtown Minneapolis. Without letting him answer, she leaves swiftly with her bandmates. Pizzazz comes to Riot and says: “Don’t bother with them. Let’s go together.” Riot seems upset at first, but he finally turns back to Pizzazz and he finally agrees to accompany her into the town. “Well, it appears there’s only you and me. Would you like to join me for a tour of Minneapolis by night? Did I tell you that I worked there for a while? So I know some good spots that others can’t dream about.” Pizzazz noticed something moving backstage. It was Jem who stayed behind winking at her. Pizzazz quickly turns away as if nothing happened, like she finally got Riot’s interest all by herself. “Of course, Riot, let’s go!” The riverboat finally returns to the wharf, ending the cruise, and Pizzazz leaves together with Riot, holding hands. Jem leaves as well with the Holograms, proud of her accomplishment. “This should be a memorable date!” she says to herself.

Then Riot said to Pizzazz “I am looking forward to listen to your recording, Pizzazz.”

“What recording?”, replied Pizzazz.

“You know, the one you said you made with the Misfits in only one take…” Riot pauses, then he realized: “Ahh! You didn’t do it, did you! You ditch the Misfits to run after me again! I should have known!

But Riot, I love you, don’t you?

And they start arguing for a long moment. Jem finally said “Yes… Definitely a memorable date!”

The end.